...all the gritty randomness that didn't make it to the other blog.



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    ummm no son… putting underwear around your neck is not exactly the way we fold laundry.

    The palpitating moment of everything that wants to be that which it cannot be.

    Jeffrey M. Pilcher

    …but first let me take a selfie. #feelingmuchbetter

    what sisters are for… #TBT blog post

    Originally Published: Monday, October 24, 2011

    So we’ve been back from Europe for a few days now, but my stomach seems to think I’m still in England. Sadly, the second night in London I some how managed to eat something that left me in a state of… well let’s just say the toilet was always in close proximity of my ass for the remainder of the time we were there. I don’t know what they call it in Europe, but if we had been in Mexico you may recognize the term “Montezuma’s Revenge”.

    Luckily, I know an expert in this department (my sister) as she’s coped to calling in sick for work because she had and I quote “really bad diarrhea”. Let me just say: for one, the fact that she’s not afraid to use that as an excuse STILL blows my mind and two; how nobody has ever questioned her about it is even far more mind boggling. Unfortunately for her though, she now works for a gastroenterologist (a.k.a. poop hole doctor) so I’m assuming she hasn’t been ballsy enough to use her old diarrhea excuse lately.

    Anyhow, being that she is the expert who happens to work for the official experts, I had to ask if she had any idea what was wrong with my stomach and whether or not I was going to die from the extreme number of times I was dropping a sloppy deuce in the bathroom.

    The conversation went something like this:


    Me: I need a favor. Will you ask at work how many days traveler’s diarrhea lasts? I got really sick on Saturday and have still been getting cramps with loose greenish stole. Should I go see a doctor?

    Annette: I have to ask… got your message but haven’t had a chance to check. Did you eat anything that upset it?

    Me: Just want to make sure it’s nothing serious. I’ve already pooped twice today.

    Annette: Okay… I’ll ask. Have no fear GI doctors are here!

    Me: Thanks sissy! If it’s any help I can easily identify the red bell pepper that I either ate last night or just now for lunch.

    Annette: I just showed the doctor your text message. He said try Pepto Bismol for seven days.

    Me: ANNETTE!!!!

    Annette: What? Well you said to ask.

    …and moments later somebody came running over crying because Daddy let his shorts get wet. (at Assateague Island National Seashore)

    …because mommy forgot her hairbrush. #thethingswedo #desperatetimes #desperatemeasures

    Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.

    Jack Kerouac

    Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.

    Napoleon Hill

    The price of greatness is responsibility.

    Winston Churchill

    Houston we have a problem. #lifewithatoddler

    Every time. Every. Stinkin'. Time... especially when you're not looking.


    • Lucas:: "thump... thump... thump... thump... thump.... THUMP!"

    • Me:: Lucas?!! LUCAS!

    • Lucas:: "...."

    • Me:: Crap.

    • Lucas:: ".....thump. thump. thump. thump. thump."

    These 10 Corporations Control Almost Everything You Buy

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    What about the Mazapan?!

    1/365: Untitled

    Well you have to start somewhere…

    I’ve been in this writers funk for what feels like YEARS. I have the desire but I lack the drive. Nothing seems to motivate me. I used to feel inspired by music, books, art, life… but even that does little to get my creative juices flowing. Does this happen to everyone?

    I feel stuck. Literally as if my body was buried waste deep in cement. I see everything around me moving forward, and here I am going nowhere. FAST.

    I need more. I want more. I’m the pendulum that has stopped at dead center with nothing to propel me in one direction or the other. It doesn’t matter which way I go… I just need to GO!

    Will someone push me please?

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