In Search of Lily

being a better me... one day at a time.



    More - Instagram

    Find me on...

    Favorite Things

    More liked posts

    I’m comfortable with the knowledge that I’m not a teacher, but rather, a student. I don’t do any one thing perfectly. I do a lot of things though. Some well, some not-so-well.

    Blake Lively

    I’m ready! Let’s do this.

    Timing is everything… and the time is NOW!


    Have you ever wondered why things happen, when they happen? Is it merely coincidence? Is it destiny? Is it all in God’s plan? Not less than a week ago, I was seriously and deeply wondering why is it that I couldn’t find my identity. I’m confident in my abilities. I feel positive about life. I’m happy with all that God has blessed us with…. but after all these years, I feel like I have failed to find MYSELF.

    It’s true! There isn’t enough affirmation in the world that can convince you of your worth, until you learn how to value YOURSELF. All these years of therapy have taught me to instinctually know this, like the answer of an SAT question, yet somehow I still haven’t manage to believe it for myself. It’s not for a lack of self-esteem. Honest to God, it’s for the plain and simple lack of direction. More often than not, I have felt like a ship sailing through deep waters with no compass or map. Where is life going to take me?

    Well twenty-four hours later my guide came knocking. Actually it was more like the sound of my cell phone ringing, and for ONCE I literally rushed to answer the call. If you’ve known me long enough; then you know that I usually don’t pick up the phone. Life with a toddler leaves you with very little free time, and makes it nearly impossible to talk, use the bathroom, shower, eat, or basically do anything that is unrelated to said toddler. Anyhow, on the other line was my good friend Annette, who I’ve known for over fifteen-years. (WOW! Has it really been that long?) She’s been a champion, cheerleader, supporter, and amazing friend in my life. Happiness and enthusiasm radiate from her body like the glowing sun.

    After a few minutes of typical catching up, we got started on the topic of natural and non-toxic products. I was telling her about a recent experience I had while in California, where my face turned BRIGHT RED after using a different face wash and moisturizer. Since we were traveling and I hadn’t unpacked, I just used what was already in the bathroom and easy to grab. Never once have I experienced something like this in my life. I know my skin is slightly sensitive, but that was the first time ever that I broke out in hives all over my face. Believe me, I was freaking out. I mean I’m sure anyone would, but this was no joke.

    She explained to me that most beauty products contain a derivative of petroleum. I was like wait, what? Believe it or not, the majority of products found at the drug store all contain either mineral oil or liquid petrolatum which are by-products in the distillation of petroleum to produce gasoline. No way! So you’re telling me I’m putting toxins on my skin? Pretty much.

    Now I’m just starting my quest for an all natural lifestyle, but this was a little bit of a shocker. I’m still early in my learning experience and really couldn’t believe it. And just to explain it in depth a little more, incase you want me to get all scientific… petroleum is a liquid mixture that is present in certain rock layers (way down deep in the earth’s crust) and after it is extracted it’s refined to produce gasoline, heating oil, diesel fuel, etc…. Well why would I want that on my skin? That’s kind of scary. Do I really want cancer causing chemicals on my body or better yet around my family? No thank you!

    So to make a long story long… she introduced me to Arbonne. Everything is based on pure botanical principles that are safe for you as well as the environment. And I’m all about being green! It’s been a real eye-opener to discover how many toxins are in our everyday lives. I never really thought of any of this until I had my son. I just want to share my journey with you, so maybe you’ll have your “A-HA!” moment and you too can make a difference in your life.

    maybe I’m lost…

    So four years ago I was sitting in front of my computer unemployed. I was a recent culinary school graduate on the verge of getting married and looking for my big break in the culinary world. Fast forward to four summers later and I find myself doing the same exact thing. Sitting at the dining room table, typing away on my (newer) MacBook and equally unemployed. Although this time, I’m unemployed for an entirely different reason.

    My new career path has taken me down the road of full-time stay at home mom. It took me a while to get used to the “full-time” nature of the job. It’s usually thankless. Always messy…. with extremely long and often stressful days. But would I want it any other way? I suppose not.

    It’s not like I’m going to rush out the door every morning at 4 o’clock to work my ass off for someone else.

    Don’t read this the wrong way though. I am in no way complaining or whining about being a stay at home mom. What I’m having trouble with is the aspect of identity.

    Obviously I’m a mother. I’m a wife. I’m a sister. But all those titles are tied to someone else. I’m a mother because of my son. I’m a wife because of my husband. I’m a sister because of my siblings. But who am I without them in the equation?

    I still don’t know.

    The palpitating moment of everything that wants to be that which it cannot be.

    Jeffrey M. Pilcher

    what sisters are for… #TBT blog post

    Originally Published: Monday, October 24, 2011

    So we’ve been back from Europe for a few days now, but my stomach seems to think I’m still in England. Sadly, the second night in London I some how managed to eat something that left me in a state of… well let’s just say the toilet was always in close proximity of my ass for the remainder of the time we were there. I don’t know what they call it in Europe, but if we had been in Mexico you may recognize the term “Montezuma’s Revenge”.

    Luckily, I know an expert in this department (my sister) as she’s coped to calling in sick for work because she had and I quote “really bad diarrhea”. Let me just say: for one, the fact that she’s not afraid to use that as an excuse STILL blows my mind and two; how nobody has ever questioned her about it is even far more mind boggling. Unfortunately for her though, she now works for a gastroenterologist (a.k.a. poop hole doctor) so I’m assuming she hasn’t been ballsy enough to use her old diarrhea excuse lately.

    Anyhow, being that she is the expert who happens to work for the official experts, I had to ask if she had any idea what was wrong with my stomach and whether or not I was going to die from the extreme number of times I was dropping a sloppy deuce in the bathroom.

    The conversation went something like this:


    Me: I need a favor. Will you ask at work how many days traveler’s diarrhea lasts? I got really sick on Saturday and have still been getting cramps with loose greenish stole. Should I go see a doctor?

    Annette: I have to ask… got your message but haven’t had a chance to check. Did you eat anything that upset it?

    Me: Just want to make sure it’s nothing serious. I’ve already pooped twice today.

    Annette: Okay… I’ll ask. Have no fear GI doctors are here!

    Me: Thanks sissy! If it’s any help I can easily identify the red bell pepper that I either ate last night or just now for lunch.

    Annette: I just showed the doctor your text message. He said try Pepto Bismol for seven days.

    Me: ANNETTE!!!!

    Annette: What? Well you said to ask.

    …and moments later somebody came running over crying because Daddy let his shorts get wet. (at Assateague Island National Seashore)

    Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.

    Jack Kerouac

    Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.

    Napoleon Hill

    The price of greatness is responsibility.

    Winston Churchill

    Every time. Every. Stinkin'. Time... especially when you're not looking.


    • Lucas:: "thump... thump... thump... thump... thump.... THUMP!"

    • Me:: Lucas?!! LUCAS!

    • Lucas:: "...."

    • Me:: Crap.

    • Lucas:: ".....thump. thump. thump. thump. thump."

    These 10 Corporations Control Almost Everything You Buy

    Read more:

    What about the Mazapan?!

    1/365: Untitled

    Well you have to start somewhere…

    I’ve been in this writers funk for what feels like YEARS. I have the desire but I lack the drive. Nothing seems to motivate me. I used to feel inspired by music, books, art, life… but even that does little to get my creative juices flowing. Does this happen to everyone?

    I feel stuck. Literally as if my body was buried waste deep in cement. I see everything around me moving forward, and here I am going nowhere. FAST.

    I need more. I want more. I’m the pendulum that has stopped at dead center with nothing to propel me in one direction or the other. It doesn’t matter which way I go… I just need to GO!

    Will someone push me please?

    Loading posts...